Perfect Embodiment
by Saruvi
Summary: AU fic. Hisoka and Tsuzuki, two teenagers living with Doctor Muraki, try desperately to escape, but for some reason, the doctor's hold on them goes deeper than just them living with him.
1. When I Woke Up

**Disclaimer**: Yami no Matsuei and the characters Hisoka Kurosaki, Asato Tsuzuki, and other YnM characters are the property of Yoko Matsushita.

**A/N**: Bear with me, this is a slightly different idea I had while talking to ghostgurl who is awesome at horror fics. While this won't be truly horrific, mainly because I doubt I could actually succeed in writing a horror fic, it won't be all lovey and sappy. Well ok, maybe a little sappy?

Sorry I had to reupload this chapter because I noticed I forgot the disclaimer and I don't want to get into trouble.

**Perfect**: 3. exactly fitting the need in a certain situation or for a certain purpose.

**Embodiment: **1. a new personification of a familiar idea; "the embodiment of hope"; "the incarnation of evil"; "the very avatar of cunning"

--

The air held a slight chill. The young boy walked around in the damp grass barefoot. The wetness from the blades seeping into the hem of his yukata. The moon was a eerie red color and there were no sounds. The thirteen year old had silently escaped from the house after he was sure everyone was asleep and he wouldn't get caught.

The wind blew and the boy heard a shocked gasp coming from somewhere to his right. He looked, seeing two figures standing in the moonlight next to a sakura tree. The whitish-pink petals glowing with a reddish hue as the moon beamed down on them.

He felt his cheeks flush as he stared at the couple. He felt he was intruding on something private. As he watched the man's silver haired head lean down, the boy tried to force himself to look away but found his gaze locked to the figures. The boy had never seen anyone kiss before, but he had read lots of books and that's what he figured the couple were doing under the moonlight.

That was until he saw the man raise his arm and the moonlight glinted as it caressed the silver edge of the blade for a second before it was brought down. The boy gasped, trying to will his legs to run. To run anywhere but here. The man tossed the woman's body away. The boy watched as the body limply fell to the ground, lifeless in the red glow. Frozen to his spot as the man turned to look at him. His mind screaming that he needed to run.

_Run, run, he's coming, you have to run! Run now!_

But he couldn't run, and when his legs finally obeyed him, it was already too late. The man's pale hand had reached out to take hold of his yukata and pull the boy to his chest. The boy yelped in fright, not understanding what this man wanted. He would soon find out the man was the master of pain and torment. He could break you and smile as he did it. The boy couldn't do anything but scream, knowing, no one would come save him. He passed out at the height of the pain, under the sakura tree, with the red moon glowing on his pale skin. His green eyes closed as he fell into darkness.

**Three years later**

"No," Hisoka whispered, sitting up in bed. The nightmare still vivid on edges of his mind.

"You're awake," a male voice said.

Hisoka unwillingly opened his eyes. Blinking as his green eyes focused on a pair of purple eyes the shade of amethyst jewels.

_So unusual, so beautiful,_ the boy thought, _and so familiar, why?_

"Who... where am I?" Hisoka squeaked, his voice hoarse from not being used in awhile.

"You're in doctor Muraki's house. I'm Tsuzuki. You don't remember me?" the other boy, who looked about seventeen told him.

"I... I don't... know. Why am I here?" Hisoka asked.

"You've been here since you were thirteen. Doctor Muraki brought you here when your parents told him he could take you, since you were sick," Tsuzuki explained, handing Hisoka a glass of water.

"Thank you," Hisoka took a sip, choking at first, water splashing down his chin. Tsuzuki patted him on the back.

"You should be careful. You've been in a coma for a few weeks," Tsuzuki told him.

"Weeks. I don't remember anything," Hisoka looked at Tsuzuki. He realized he knew this boy. Though, he didn't understand how he knew him.

"You live with me and the doctor. He took us in when our families didn't want us anymore. Well your family that is. My sister died, I had nowhere else to go, so he took me in," Tsuzuki was saying.

"Why do I know you?" the green eyed boy asked.

"You're my best friend. We have known each other for three years. That's when the doctor brought you here. I have been here since I was fourteen," the boy told him.

"I... the doctor, what's he look like?" Hisoka asked, something told him he knew already, but he needed it confirmed.

"Eh, he's tall, pale, silver hair... whoa!" Tsuzuki said as the glass Hisoka was holding slipped from his hands.

"S-silver hair," Hisoka closed his eyes, "I remember." Hisoka's mind reeled as thousands of images and memories invaded his senses.

Tsuzuki watched as the other boy closed his green eyes and tears slipped out from under the dark lashes. If Hisoka remembered the doctor, then he remember everything the doctor had done to him. Even to Tsuzuki, as the only comfort the two boys had ever found were with one another.

"He... he hit me didn't he and I fell?" Hisoka whispered, opening his eyes to stare at Tsuzuki. The other boy nodded sadly.

"You said we shouldn't play his game anymore and we tried to leave. He was very angry. I tried to stop him from hitting you. Then he dragged you up the stairs and you fell down, I couldn't do anything... you... oh gods Hisoka, there wasn't anything I could do," Tsuzuki cried, hanging his head.

Hisoka remembered it all. He'd talked Tsuzuki into leaving with him. They'd waited until the doctor had gone to sleep. Creeping down the stairs towards the entry way. They hadn't been aware that the doctor had been waiting for them to try something. Especially since Hisoka had been becoming increasingly defiant lately.

Muraki had hit him on more than one occasion when Hisoka had refused to play the part of his 'doll.' Having lived with the man since he'd taken him under that tree three years earlier, he had finally found the will to fight back. To try to save himself and his friend, Tsuzuki, who the doctor had found the year before he'd found Hisoka.

The two had become friends pretty quickly after Muraki brought Hisoka home with him. Finding solace in each other after the abuse at Muraki's hands. He'd sometimes take one or both boys to his secret room to have what he called fun with his doll and his toy. There was so many ways to hurt another person. And each boy was slowly, painfully introduced to every one of them.

It took Tsuzuki no time at all to place himself infront of Hisoka, defiantly staring Muraki down so that Hisoka would be saved anymore hurt and pain. Tsuzuki was willing to sacrifice himself for the other boy. It could be worse Tsuzuki had once told him. How? was Hisoka's response. Tsuzuki just whispered that the doctor could have decided to use them again instead of just torturing and experimenting on them to satisfy his sick desires.

Hisoka had agreed. At least they didn't have to go through that again. Shuddering as he'd remembered having to feel the doctor on him. Knowing that the doctor had done the same to Tsuzuki had made Hisoka realize how much they needed to fight back and get away.

Which led to the empath planning their escape the night he'd fallen into his coma. He remembered almost reaching the door and suddenly hearing Tsuzuki as the other boy yelped as he was flung onto the floor. The pale hands reaching to grab Hisoka by the hair, pulling his face to look up into the amused face of their captor.

Muraki's silver eye narrowed as he pulled Hisoka to him. The boy gasping in pain as his hair was pulled tightly in the doctor's fist. Tsuzuki was holding his arm, staring in horror as Muraki slapped Hisoka across the face. Blood welling in the corner of the sixteen year old's mouth.

"I've had it with your defiance boy. I think you need a reminder of who you belong to," Muraki sneered.

"Muraki, don't hurt Hisoka anymore. I could..." Tsuzuki shouted, trying to offer himself in place of Hisoka.

"Shut up Tsuzuki! I've had enough of this. The boy will learn his place and you will not take his punishment for him this time," Muraki's voice was so calm, it sent chills down both boy's spines.

"Why can't you just let us go! What do you need with us anyway!" Hisoka shouted.

"What do I need with you two? I don't 'need' anything my dear boy. It's what I 'want' that is the reason why I keep you both here. You're both mine. Now, shall we revisit an old memory under a sakura tree?" Muraki said smoothly, as he walked up the stairs, dragging Hisoka by the hair.

Hisoka knew what would happen if Muraki managed to get him into his room. How much the man was looking forward to reminding him of all the pain he could mete out. He kicked the man in the leg, struggling against the hand that held him by his hair.

Muraki winced as the small foot connected with his shin and turned around so suddenly, his hand coming down to slap the boy across the face. Hisoka teetered on the top stair for a second before falling backwards down the staircase. He sawTsuzuki jump up to try to reach him before he landed at the bottom of the staircase.

Tsuzuki didn't make it in time to catch Hisoka and he shouted 'Hisoka!' as the boy's head connected with the hard wooden floor and after that, he didn't hear or see anything else until a few moments ago. Hisoka shook the memory away, his emerald eyes boring into Tsuzuki.

"We have to get out of here Tsu, we have to!" Hisoka said desperately. Tsuzuki looked away for a moment, before turning back and nodding.


	2. Cry for Me

Tsuzuki looked up when he heard the footsteps on the stairs. He looked over at Hisoka, whose green eyes had widened in fear.

"Muraki's home," Tsuzuki whispered, Hisoka nodded.

The door opened as the doctor, dressed all in white walked into the room. His eyes falling over Tsuzuki then slowly drifting to take in the sight of Hisoka sitting up in the bed. Muraki walked over to Tsuzuki, who froze in his chair, it seemed as though he wasn't even breathing.

Hisoka watched as Muraki pulled Tsuzuki into his arms, pulling him off the chair to kiss the boy on the lips possessively. Releasing the amethyst eyed boy, the doctor turned his attention to Hisoka. The boy flinched as the doctor ran a hand through his honey colored hair. He turned his face away. Muraki chuckled.

"Glad to see you're awake bouya," Muraki said to him.

Tsuzuki watched as Muraki's hand slid from Hisoka's hair to caress the boy's cheek. He bit his lip, watching the boy cringe as the doctor's fingers ran over his lips. Hisoka's green eyes met Tsuzuki's purple when the doctor's hand slid down the empath's chest, fingers hovering over the opening of the yukata the boy was wearing.

"Don't touch him!" Tsuzuki yelled, jerking out of his chair to step inbetween the doctor and his best friend. Hisoka gasped, knowing what the action would cost Tsuzuki.

Muraki sneered as his hand dropped to his side. His pale face was perfectly composed and calm, but Hisoka could feel the anger simmering beneath the surface.

--

The whip made a cracking sound as it hit the soft flesh beneath it. The boy arched his back in pain, his wrists pulling at his bonds. The boy bit his lip to keep from crying out. It wasn't the first time he'd felt this pain, it wouldn't be the last.

"You're beautiful when you cry," Muraki murmured, the boy's refusal to cry out was becoming irritating. He brought the whip down again, "Cry for me."

Tsuzuki refused to cry for the man whipping him, which angered the doctor. He wouldn't give the man the satisfaction of knowing how much it hurt. How he wanted to curl up and scream as the whip tore through his flesh. No, Tsuzuki wouldn't cry out, no matter how much it would please the doctor. He wouldn't give in and eventually, he knew that Muraki would become bored with hurting him and release him. Then he could back to Hisoka and he'd be okay.

Tsuzuki blinked, as he felt the doctor's hand run over the lashes on his back. The man's nails scraping over the stinging marks. He felt the blood as it smeared over the skin that hadn't been cut open by the whip. He bit his bottom lip again to keep from giving the doctor what he wanted.

--

It was late, and Hisoka was very tired, but he kept jerking himself awake trying to wait until Tsuzuki came back. He hoped that Tsuzuki wasn't too hurt, though, he knew it was a false hope. Muraki would hurt the other boy for his interference earlier. Though the man had been pleased to see his doll awake, he wouldn't tolerate anyone standing in the way of what he wanted.

"Soka, are you awake?" Tsuzuki whispered.

"Yeah, what happened?" Hisoka asked, sitting up. He watched as Tsuzuki carefully sat on the edge of the bed.

"Oh, it wasn't too bad," Tsuzuki told him, but he winced when Hisoka reached to wrap his arms around his waist.

"Tsu! What did he do to you, tell me," the empath demanded softly, his small hands tugging on the other boy's shirt. Tsuzuki hissed in pain, tears forming in his eyes.

He turned around and Hisoka gasped at the red lines that had seeped onto the white tshirt the boy was wearing. Gently, he lifted the hem of the shirt, tugging it over Tsuzuki's head. Tears slid down his face as he saw the lash marks crisscrossing over the boy's back.

"I'm so sorry Tsu, so sorry," Hisoka cried, he knew this was his fault. If he wasn't so weak, if he hadn't gotten caught, they wouldn't be here anymore and this wouldn't have happened. Tsuzuki wrapped his arms around Hisoka, whispering soothing words to try to calm the boy down.

"Soka, please don't cry. I knew what'd he do to me if I interferred. I just couldn't let him hurt you," Tsuzuki whispered in his ear.

"Why do you always step inbetween us? Why do you always protect me at the cost of yourself?" Hisoka had to force himself not to scream, knowing if Muraki heard, they would both be in trouble. With Tsuzuki's back cut up, Hisoka couldn't let the man hurt the boy again.

"You know why," Tsuzuki whispered.

"I know why, but I want to hear you say it," Hisoka prodded.

Tsuzuki shifted, flinching as the cuts on his back stung. He pushed Hisoka backwards onto the bed. After carefully settling himself next to the other boy, he leaned over and placed a tenative kiss on the teen's lips. Hisoka's green eyes slid shut as he felt the whisper soft pressure on his lips.

When Tsuzuki pulled back, Hisoka opened his eyes and stared at the boy hovering over him. He felt tears fill his eyes again as he saw Tsuzuki smile at him. Hisoka felt the emotions that emanated off of the other boy.

"I love you Soka," Tsuzuki whispered as he laid his head on the teen's chest, "I want use to leave here, so we can be together and not be afraid anymore."

"I love you too," Hisoka whispered back.

--

Muraki stood listening outside the door to the room. There was something the two boys didn't know and he wasn't inclined to let them know what it was just yet. Smiling to himself as he walked to his own bedroom, he couldn't stop from chuckling as he slid beneath his red silk sheets.


	3. Hidden Room

_Trust Muraki to lock the damn door_, Hisoka thought angrily, removing his hand from the doorknob.

Hisoka had woken up to Tsuzuki crying in his sleep. After holding him until the boy calmed down, Hisoka had gotten up to wander through the house, knowing Muraki was at work. The doctor wouldn't be back until nightfall, so that left the teen plenty of time to try to find a way for him and Tsuzuki to leave.

If he somehow managed to get the door unlocked, he had no doubt that Muraki would know he'd been snooping around the room. Then, he'd be punished. Sighing, he went to check on Tsuzuki. The other boy was sitting up with his legs thrown over the bed.

"Where did you go Soka?" Tsuzuki asked.

"I tried to get into that room," Hisoka told him, "How are you feeling?"

"Soka! You know if Muraki finds out you're snooping again, you're going to get hurt," the other boy said.

"I don't care anymore! I want out of here!" the empath nearly shouted.

"So do I, but if he hurts us enough, we could be..." Tsuzuki stopped.

"What? We could be what? Killed? You think he'll kill us? That would be better than this," Hisoka was now yelling, he didn't care anymore, he just wanted out of there and away from Muraki.

"I... don't want to lose you, but think if we got him angry enough, he could do anything," Tsuzuki told him softly. Hisoka could feel the fear coming off of the other boy.

"I know. I don't want to lose you either, but I would rather die than stay here," Hisoka answered. "I'm going to check his bedroom," he told him and walked out of the room.

Tsuzuki groaned, "Soka," as he got up and followed.

--

Tsuzuki hated Muraki's room. When Hisoka had been in his coma, the doctor had made him sleep with him everynight. Kissing and touching him, but not doing anything more than that for which Tsuzuki was glad. He knew the doctor held himself back from anything more than just fondling them but he didn't understand why, not that he was complaining. It wasn't as though the man stopped himself from doing anything else to them, just not that.

"What the hell!" Hisoka shouted. Tsuzuki ran over to where Hisoka was rummaging in the doctor's closet.

Hisoka pointed to a door that was behind the doctor's clothing. The two boys looked at each before Tsuzuki reached out and turned the knob. The door opened and they looked inside.

The room on the other side of the door was dimly lit. The boys had never been inside it. Hadn't known about it. Stepping into the room, Hisoka looked around while Tsuzuki hestitated at the doorway.

"Stop being a chicken and get in here dammit," Hisoka hissed. Tsuzuki bit his lip and walked into the room.

There were bookshelves and file cabinets. Hisoka was riffling through one of the cabinets, while Tsuzuki looked over the books on the shelves. There were books on all kinds of medical subjects but one book caught Tsuzuki's eye. He reached down to grab it.

"Hey Tsu, there's files on us," Hisoka suddenly said.

"Huh?" Tsuzuki walked over to him, holding the book in his hands.

"What's that?" the green eyed boy asked, nodding to the book.

"Some book he has," Tsuzuki said, looking at the cover.

"Let me see it," Hisoka reached out and took it, there was no title and the book looked very old. Hisoka flipped through it.

There were drawings and words that looked to be in the form of poems, but neither boy could read the words as they were in a language they didn't understand.

"What do you think it is?" Tsuzuki asked. Hisoka shrugged, he had no idea.

"Put it back," he told the other boy, handing it back.

Hisoka pulled out a file with Tsuzuki's name on it. Opening it he read the first page.

"The ceremony went well. The boy seems to be doing well after falling into a coma from the shock of the ritual. He doesn't appear to be suffering from any problems and his vitals are becoming stable."

_Ceremony? Ritual?_ Hisoka thought.

Hisoka kept reading page flipping through the pages.

Tsuzuki was reading Hisoka's file now which said the same things with some differences. Tsuzuki read aloud to Hisoka.

_"The boy's empathy has made it hard to control him, even with the spell's barriers I've put in place, he seems very defiant."_

"Barriers? Spell?" Hisoka asked. "Tsu, do you remember anything about when Muraki brought you here?"

Tsuzuki shook his head. The same thing was in Hisoka's file, but he didn't remember anything about a ceremony. Hisoka flipped a page and read.

_"I've used the spell I found in the book to bind the boys to each other. After the inti..."_

"I see my little poppets have decided to have fun without me," a cold voice said behind them.

Tsuzuki stiffened and Hisoka dropped the file he'd been holding.

--

Hisoka screamed as Muraki sliced into his arm. Muraki's pale lips formed into an evil grin. He was enjoying hurting the teen. He reacted so wonderfully. It was one reason the doctor preferred to play with this boy instead of the other one. Only in the last few months had Muraki actually begun to cut into the boys perfect flesh. Loving the way their blood coated their bodies.

Tsuzuki had long ago stopped playing Muraki's game to the doctor's dissatisfation. But Hisoka could be counted on to react the way the man wanted him to. Needed him to. The boy's screams put the doctor into an almost trance like state of mind as he continued to cut through the pale flesh.

"So perfect. So lovely covered in blood," Muraki told Hisoka. Tears were streaming from the bright green eyes filled with pain.

"I hate you!" Hisoka shouted.

"I'm sure you do, but it doesn't matter to me, you're still mine despite how you feel," Muraki told him, pulling him up by the hair to kiss him.

Hisoka felt like gagging as the doctor shoved his tongue in his mouth. The man's hands running down his body to slip into his jeans. Hisoka froze.

"No! Don't!" Hisoka's voice was becoming high pitched as he panicked. The doctor didn't touch him down there though. He just let his hand rest right above the boy's private area.

Muraki kissed Hisoka again as he removed his hand from his jeans. He then yank the boy off the table he had laid him on.

Muraki would have loved to take the boy again, like he had that night three years ago. He knew he couldn't though. That would break his hold on both boys and he wouldn't risk that. He wouldn't lose these two. They would remain his.

"Clean yourself up then get to bed before I change my mind," Muraki said, contempt in his voice.

Hisoka ran out of the room.

--

"You're bleeding!" Tsuzuki jumped up to grab Hisoka as the boy came running into their room.

"Yeah, he..." Hisoka started.

"Hisoka, he didn't... you know?" Tsuzuki asked, fearing the answer. Hisoka shook his head and Tsuzuki relaxed.

"He just carved me up like a Thanksgiving turkey," the boy told him. Tsuzuki pulled Hisoka into the bathroom connected to their bedroom and began to wash Hisoka's bloody arm.

"What's wrong?" Hisoka asked when Tsuzuki stopped to stare in shock at the pale arm he held.

Hisoka glanced down to look at what Tsuzuki was staring at. The cuts were beginning to heal. As the cuts finished healing, Tsuzuki washed the blood off of Hisoka's arm. Hisoka thought of something.

"Tsu, let me see your back," he said.

"Why?" Tsuzuki asked, hestating.

"Just do it already, sheesh," Hisoka said exasperated.

Tsuzuki turned around and lifted up his shirt. He craned his neck when he heard Hisoka gasp.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"The... marks, they're gone. It looks like you were never whipped," Hisoka told him.

"How?" Tsuzuki asked, pulling his shirt back down and turning around.

"I don't know, but in those files on us were stuff about spells and rituals. We need to find out what they mean," Hisoka said, walking back into their room.

Both boys climbed into bed, cuddling close.

"Ne Soka, why do you think he... you know, doesn't touch us like... that?" Tsuzuki asked.

"I don't know, are you complaining?" Hisoka answered in the dark.

"No, it's just, he seems to want to, but he doesn't," Tsuzuki told him.

"I know, I thought he was going to tonight, then he stopped. But I don't care, as long as he never touches me like that again, I'm fine," Hisoka replied, yawning.

"What do you think the files meant?" the amethyst eyed boy asked, his eyes were starting to close, he felt Hisoka shrug.

"He's hiding something," Hisoka whispered, but he didn't get an answer as heard Tsuzuki's soft breathing.

_I will find out what Muraki's secret is,_ Hisoka thought as he fell asleep.


	4. Duplicity

Hisoka woke up when he felt his hands pulled above him. Blinking his eyes sleepily, he almost screamed when he realized he was hanging in the room Muraki liked to torture them in. He didn't bother to struggle against the restraints knowing it was useless. Looking around, he saw Tsuzuki tied to bed table that Muraki had cut Hisoka on the night before.

"Tsu," Hisoka said, hoping to get the other boy's attention. Tsuzuki didn't answer, and Hisoka couldn't feel anything coming from the other boy.

Muraki must have sedated him, Hisoka concluded.

"Hello my doll," Muraki said, as he entered the room.

Hisoka's eyes met Muraki's icy glare. Involuntarily, the boy shivered. For all his tough talk, he was still afraid of the doctor and what the man could do. The teen dropped his gaze, which caused Muraki to laugh.

"Not very brave today I see," Muraki told him.

Hisoka's eyes filled with tears as the doctor grabbed him by his hair and yanked his head up to up to stare into the green eyes. Hisoka tried to move away, but the position he was in wouldn't allow it.

Muraki smiled, "It pleases me to see you cry."

The boy gasped as the doctor slipped his hand underneath his shirt while he leaned into kiss the boy on the neck. Hisoka felt sick as Muraki swirled his tongue along his collarbone.

"Stop please," Hisoka whispered.

"You know better than to snoop in my room bouya," Muraki said, his warm breath sliding over Hisoka's skin, making the boy cringe.

"I'm sorry, I won't do it again, just don't," Hisoka begged.

"I know you're lying bouya, this isn't the first time I've caught you snooping around," the doctor told him. He noticed the syringe in the doctor's hand.

Muraki loved to hurt Hisoka. Tears falling from his emerald eyes sometimes made the man have to catch his breath. And when he was covered in blood, Muraki knew there wasn't anything more beautiful. Crimson coating the pale skin. Muraki would have loved to have taken Hisoka many more times, but he couldn't. He had to force himself to hold back. Not if he didn't want to break the hold he had on the boy.

Hisoka screamed when Muraki suddenly bit him harshly on the neck. He felt his tears streaming hotly down his cheeks as the blood ran down his neck. Gods it hurt so much, and no matter how many times the boy told himself not to cry out, he could never keep his pain to himself. Not like Tsuzuki did.

"You must really hate us to hurt us this way," he sobbed.

"Oh I don't hate you my beautiful doll. I love you so much I find myself wanting to just break you," Muraki told him, the words rolling off his tongue like silk. Hisoka felt the sting of the needle in his arm.

"Nnnn," a moan drew their attention to the table Tsuzuki was tied to.

"Tsu," Hisoka said, his eyes closing as the sedative kicked in.

--

Tsuzuki struggled against his bonds, trying to strain his neck to see Hisoka. After the boy had said his name, there was nothing else from him.

"You drugged him didn't you?" Tsuzuki accused.

"As much as I enjoy his cries, his questions are irritating," Muraki told him.

Tsuzuki glared as Muraki released him from the restraints. Rubbing his wrists, the boy sat up, turning his head to look at Hisoka.

"Why can't you just stop hurting him?" Tsuzuki asked. Muraki shrugged.

"You know why," Muraki stepped over him.

"I can't believe you whipped me like that, it freaking hurt like hell!" he said.

"Oh come now, you used to enjoy things like that. Besides, it's not like you won't heal," the man told him. Tsuzuki glared at him again.

"I don't want you to hurt Hisoka anymore," Tsuzuki told him.

"I know you don't, but he's getting closer to finding out the truth," Muraki said, "He'll wake up soon. Make sure he behaves while I'm out."

Tsuzuki lifted an eyebrow, "Where are you going?"

"None of your business. Just make sure the boy behaves," the doctor said.

"Whatever. Cut him down. I'll carry him to bed," Tsuzuki said.

"Just keep your hands off him," Muraki warned.

"Why do you care anyway? Not like you're doing anything with him," Tsuzuki snapped.

"Don't try my patience tonight kiddo. I won't be back until morning, remember what I told you," the doctor snapped back.

Tsuzuki nodded, knowing when he'd pushed enough. He just watched as Muraki cut the ropes from Hisoka's wrists. He got up and walked over to lift the boy in his arms, carrying him out of the room. Muraki wouldn't be back until morning, so that left plenty of time of for Tsuzuki to take care of Hisoka.

--

As he laid the boy down on the bed, Tsuzuki thought how hard it was to keep up appearances. If Hisoka ever found out about what he was doing with Muraki, the boy would probably hate him. It was a chance Tsuzuki needed to take in order to find out what the doctor was up to. He needed to find a way to get Muraki to tell him how to release the hold he had on Hisoka.

Tsuzuki could have left long ago. Muraki no longer took any real interest in him, preferring Hisoka. But when the doctor had brought Hisoka home with him three years ago, Tsuzuki had found himself falling for the boy almost immediately. He knew he was risking Hisoka's trust and love, but he couldn't think of any other way to get Hisoka away from Muraki.

Sighing, he laid down beside Hisoka, pulling the boy into his arms as he covered them both with a blanket.


	5. Breach of Trust

Hisoka finally woke up shaking, he was screaming as he remembered the night Muraki raped him and other nights the doctor hurt him. Gentle hands reached out to take him into their hold, a soft voice whispering soothing words in his ear. He slowly relaxed as he realized he was in Tsuzuki's arms.

"Tsu, why does he do this to us?" Hisoka whispered through tears.

"I don't know baby," Tsuzuki told him.

Tsuzuki had often wondered himself what Muraki wanted with Hisoka. The man had been careful not to let out his secrets, even though Tsuzuki had shared his bed when Hisoka was in his coma. Tsuzuki had thought if he could seduce the doctor, that perhaps he could make the man let down his guard and he'd spill his secrets. But it hadn't happened and Tsuzuki felt sick to his stomach knowing he'd willingly given himself to the man.

He hoped that if Hisoka ever found out, he would forgive him. He hoped he'd understand that he was only doing it for him. He couldn't bear to think that Hisoka might end up hating him and leaving him. He loved him so much and after everything they'd gone through already and everything that was to come, Tsuzuki knew if he lost Hisoka, he'd die.

Hisoka felt the changing of emotions within Tsuzuki. He wanted to know why the other boy was feeling despair. He should ask, but he didn't want to ruin the calming mood that had settled over them as he laid in Tsuzuki's arms.

"Hisoka," Tsuzuki's voice broke the silence.

"Hmm?" the empath murmured.

"Will you always love me?" Tsuzuki inquired. Hisoka sat up, pulling himself from Tsuzuki's arms.

"What kind of question is that?" Hisoka demanded, hurt that such a question could have crossed Tsuzuki's mind.

"I... just wanted... to know. You know I mean, I... forget it," Tsuzuki stuttered.

"No, I don't want to forget it. How could ask me that? I've loved you for a long time. You're all I have," Hisoka started to cry.

"Shhh, please. I'm sorry," the boy said sitting up.

"I'll always love you Tsu, no matter what," Hisoka cried throwing his arms around Tsuzuki.

"I'll always love you too. Please don't cry anymore," Tsuzuki pleaded.

Under the surface, Hisoka could feel... shame and guilt. _Why,_ he wondered.

He didn't understand why Tsuzuki would be feeling that way. What could he feel guilty for? Why all the shame? Hisoka would find out, but right now he didn't know how to bring it up.

"Tsu, why don't you ever touch me?" Hisoka blurted out suddenly. He felt the blush as it spread across it cheeks.

Tsuzuki gasped in shock. He hadn't been expecting the normally shy boy to ask such a question. He especially didn't know how to reply. He wanted to touch the boy, but he didn't want to scare him.

"I didn't know you wanted me to," Tsuzuki said carefully.

Hisoka licked his lips, "I want you to," leaning down to kiss the other boy. "I really really want you to."

Tsuzuki felt hot. He really wanted to touch Hisoka. Not just kiss him, but touch him. All over, everywhere. But would Muraki know if he did? Of course he would and the thought made Tsuzuki pull away from the empath.

"We can't," he told the boy.

"You don't want me?" Hisoka asked.

"Yeah I want you, but we can't," Tsuzuki told him again.

"Why?" the empath asked.

"If Muraki finds out I touched you, he'll hurt you more than he already has," the amethyst eyed boy said.

"Maybe I don't care anymore. Maybe I just want something good for once. Maybe I..." Hisoka was stopped when Tsuzuki placed a finger on his lips.

"Shh, it's ok. We'll figure something out," Tsuzuki told him, pulling him into his arms again.

--

Later when Tsuzuki had fallen asleep, Hisoka went back to search Muraki's room. He didn't know if he should take the chance again to look in the hidden room in the closet, so he just opened and closed dresser drawers, looked in the nightstand drawers.

He was now crawling out from under the bed when something caught his eye. He reached out and grabbed it. It was a purple shirt with white trim and he knew who it belonged to. Almost bumping his head when he crawled out, he swore as he felt his heart sink.

Taking a last look at Muraki's room, he left and closed the door behind him, just as he'd found it. He walked back to his and Tsuzuki's room, his head hanging low as he tried to fight back tears.

Tsuzuki sat up in bed rubbing the sleep from his eyes as he heard the click of the door when Hisoka entered the room. Hisoka walked over to the bed, throwing the shirt at the boy. Tsuzuki grabbed it as he landed on his lap, gasping in shock when he recognized what it was.

"Where did yo..." he started to ask.

Hisoka glared at him, tears falling down his pale cheeks, "Where do you think I found it! Under the doctor's bed!"

"Soka, please, I can..." Tsuzuki began but stopped when Hisoka's hand connected harshly with his cheek. The slap stung and Tsuzuki closed his mouth.

"When were you going to tell me? Is this why you asked me if I'd always love you?" Hisoka demanded coldly.

He was hurting. So much more than when he hurt from whatever the doctor did to him. His heart broke and he felt like he was dying as he thought about Tsuzuki with Muraki.

"I can explain you know. I you just let me, I can explain," Tsuzuki said.

"I don't want to hear it! How could you do this? After everything he's done to us! How?!" Hisoka screamed running from the room.

Tsuzuki sat stunned as tears streamed from his amethyst eyes. There wasn't anything he could say. Nothing to make this right. Hisoka wouldn't listen to him right now. He needed to wait until the boy calmed down to try to explain.

_How could you be such a baka! How could give yourself to that man!_ His mind screamed.

There was no point in telling himself he'd done it for Hisoka. No point telling himself at the time he felt it was worth it. No point when right now, he felt as though he'd lost everything and he didn't know how to get it back.


	6. Uninhibited Restraint

**A/N**: Anyone having a problem sending pm's to someone on here? Or getting their alert messages for new chapters of stories and stuff? It's annoying. I don't know what's being updated and I have to keep checking. I'm lazy, I want my alerts back. Anyway, here's chapter 6.

--

Half an hour later Tsuzuki decided to go look for Hisoka. Walking through the house, he went down the stairs. He found the boy curled up on the sofa in the living room. Hisoka was crying and Tsuzuki felt horrible. He knew he'd betrayed the teen and there wasn't anything he could really say, except explain why he'd done it.

Would Hisoka believe him? Would he ever trust him again? Would he hate him now or still love him? Tsuzuki didn't know the answers. Letting out the breath he'd been holding, he walked over and tapped Hisoka on the shoulder. The boy jumped, pulling himself into a sitting position. He was glaring through eyes the color of wet grass. Tsuzuki just wanted to take him into his arms and beg him to forgive him.

"Soka," Tsuzuki said.

"Go away Tsu, I don't want to talk to you," Hisoka told him, his soft voice icy.

"Please, I can explain," Tsuzuki pleaded.

"I told you, I don't want to hear it. I hope you had fun screwing him," the boy shot him a cold look as he stood up from the sofa.

Hisoka was walking out of the living room when Tsuzuki whispered, "It wasn't like that! I did it for you. It was all for you," as he fell to his knees, his face in his hands, tears streaming from his eyes.

The words made Hisoka stop in his tracks and he turned back to see Tsuzuki on his knees on the floor. The sight tore at the empath, but he didn't know how to trust Tsuzuki anymore. He felt betrayed, despite the fact that he still loved the other boy. He didn't know how to forgive him.

He walked over to the sobbing boy on the floor. He still loved him, but where would they be now that Hisoka knew what Tsuzuki had done with Muraki? Thinking about him with the doctor made the teen feel sick. He just couldn't forgive him. Not right now at least.

"Tsu, I... I just need time," Hisoka said softly. Tsuzuki looked up, his eyes sad but hopeful. Hisoka could feel the emotions going through the other boy. Hisoka nodded as he added, "Yeah, I still love you, but... I am not sure how I can, when I don't know if I can trust you."

"Hisoka, you can trust me. I really only wanted to find out about the hold he has on you," Tsuzuki said, he wiped his face on his sleeve.

"I believe you, but I still need time," he told him.

"I'll wait Soka. I'll wait forever if I have to," Tsuzuki promised. Hisoka nodded, and left the room.

--

Walking up the stairs to their room, Hisoka sighed. He wanted to be with Tsuzuki, but could he knowing the other boy had went willingly into the doctor's bed? Could he bear his touch knowing that the doctor had touched him first?

_Muraki touched me first, and Tsuzuki still wants me. He touched Tsuzuki first as well and you wanted him anyway,_ Hisoka thought.

_That was before I knew he went to him by choice,_ the voice in his head said.

_I don't care, I love him. I still want him. I just need some rest, Hisoka thought walking into his room._

Inhaling and exhaling sharply, he slipped under the blankets on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. He would forgive Tsuzuki, just not right now he told himself. Yawning, he closed his eyes and fell asleep.

--

"Just let him go dammit!" Tsuzuki was shouting. Hisoka wondered why. He opened his eyes to find out. The shouting was coming from downstairs. Hisoka crept out of his room and knelt by the staircase to listen. Tsuzuki was shaking with anger. His fists clenched by his sides.

"You're trying my patience. I know how you feel about the boy, but you know I won't ever let you have him. Not when he possesses the one thing I need," Muraki replied calmly.

"I'm sick of this! You always talk in riddles. You play these psychotic games and..." Tsuzuki fell silent as the doctor's hand slapped him across the face.

"I told you, he has what I need," the doctor told him. Muraki suddenly grabbed Tsuzuki by the chin, pushing his head up to look him in the face.

Hisoka could sense Muraki's anger simmering underneath his cool exterior. But Hisoka could also sense curiosity, mingled with concern and alarm.

"Wh-what?" Tsuzuki asked.

"Have you touched him?" Muraki demanded. When Tsuzuki refused to answer, Muraki tightened the hold he had on the boy's chin, "Have you?" The doctor asked.

"No, I haven't! But it's not like I don't want to! And what the hell do you care!" Tsuzuki yelled.

Muraki pushed Tsuzuki away so roughly the boy stumbled and fell backwards, landing on the floor on his behind. Hisoka heard the boy groan as his tailbone hit the hard wood. Leaning over Tsuzuki menacingly, Muraki ground out, "If you touch him, I'll kill you, do I make myself clear?"

"Bastard! He knows about us and he'll know about you. It's only a matt..." Tsuzuki yelped as Muraki's foot connected with his stomach. Rolling over, Tsuzuki whimpered in pain.

"Be careful boy. I'm about at the end of my patience with you," Muraki said walking out of the house.

Hisoka ran down the stairs to Tsuzuki. Wrapping his arms around his friend, he asked, "Why did you confront him like that?"

"I'm sick of his crap! I want him to let you go. Everything I've done, and he won't let you go. I want to know why," Tsuzuki told him.

"Why is he so adament about you not touching me? Even he doesn't touch me that way," Hisoka asked, he didn't really have any complaints about Muraki touching him, but he would have liked to have felt Tsuzuki's touch.

"I don't know. But it's been like that since he brought you home. He told me I wasn't to have any intimate contact with you," Tsuzuki explained.

"But why? Why is it so important that I remain..." the empath started to ask. He really wanted to know.

"Are you really complaining that he won't touch you? Trust me, it's not that great a feeling," Tsuzuki interrupted earning himself a glare.

"Don't remind me about you and him please. And I'm not complaining. It just seems... weird," Hisoka shot back.

"Nothing that man does anymore is weird to me," the purple eyed boy said.

Hisoka helped Tsuzuki up the stairs as they made their way to their room. Tsuzuki winced a little as he laid on down on the bed. The empath felt strange. He wanted to know why Muraki was so worried about him being touched. It was almost as though he were afraid...

No, that can't be right. Normally, Muraki wouldn't care if Hisoka were taken again, right? Then why? Hisoka had no answers.

Tsuzuki groaned when Hisoka sat down on the bed and rolled on top of him. Pressing their lips together, Hisoka moaned as he wound his hands into the other boy's hair. Pressing his growing arousal to Tsuzuki's body, Hisoka was surprised to feel Tsuzuki was hardening underneath him.

"Soka, stop, we need to stop," Tsuzuki muttered, trying to pull away.

"I don't want to. I want to feel you. I don't understand why he won't let you. Why should he care?" Hisoka said.

Tsuzuki bit his lip. Would Muraki really know if he touched Hisoka? Would it really matter after everything he'd already done to them both? Tsuzuki came to the conclusion that he didn't care anymore. Rolling over so he was on top of Hisoka, he ground his hips against the other's, causing the boy underneath him to moan softly and wrap his arms around him.


	7. Antipathy

Slowly undressing each other, the two boys reveled in the feel of each other's skin against one another. Tsuzuki kissed every inch of Hisoka's flesh, causing the boy to arch up and moan against him. When Tsuzuki pressed the tip of his arousal into Hisoka's entrance, he froze when the green eyed boy screamed in pain.

Pushing himself off of Hisoka thinking he'd hurt the boy, Tsuzuki sat back on his legs, staring down at Hisoka, who was suddenly covered in red symbols that began glowing against his pale skin. Hisoka squirmed as he cried in pain.

"What the..." Tsuzuki said, staring as the symbols flashed angrily. He'd never seen anything like this before.

"Tsu, hu-rts! Make it st-op!" Hisoka cried in pain.

Tsuzuki grabbed hold of Hisoka and pulled him into his lap, holding onto him tightly. Hisoka buried his face in the other boy's neck, his tears falling onto the skin underneath his face. He slowly wrapped his arms around Tsuzuki's waist.

"What is this Hisoka?" Tsuzuki didn't understand why he asked the question, but since the symbols were covering the boy, he thought, maybe, the boy would know?

"I-I don't k-know," Hisoka stammered, as Tsuzuki rocked him.

_Damn Muraki! What the hell did you do to him!_ Tsuzuki thought angrily.

There didn't seem to be anything Tsuzuki could do to stop the pain Hisoka was in. He took Hisoka into the bathroom and ran a bath. Laying the boy gently into the water, he hoped that the coolness would help relieve some of the burning the boy was feeling.

--

Tsuzuki was relieved when the red symbols on the boy's skin faded. Hisoka was still panting from the pain, but he was slowly calming down. Tsuzuki dressed the boy in a loose fitting nightshirt and laid him in bed, covering him up.

_I need to find out what the hell Muraki did to him,_ Tsuzuki thought, pressing a kiss to Hisoka's forehead.

When he shifted, Hisoka whispered, "Don't go."

"I'm not going anywhere Soka," Tsuzuki answered, "Try to sleep ok?" Hisoka nodded, he was drowsy from the all the pain he'd felt.

After Hisoka fell asleep, Tsuzuki kept thinking about why the symbol's had never appeared before. What had they done differently. Thinking about everything from the time Muraki had brought Hisoka home with him to now, Tsuzuki gasped as the answer hit him.

_We almost made love. That's why Muraki didn't want me to touch Hisoka!_ Tsuzuki thought.

Tsuzuki realized, he'd been pressed just right inside Hisoka, about to push in further when the symbols had appeared.

_That has to be why I'm not allowed to touch him that way. And why Muraki doesn't touch him either! But why? Why do this to him? _He thought.

Tsuzuki didn't understand what it all meant, but he knew, Muraki had done something evil to Hisoka the night he'd raped the boy.

_I'll find out what the hell is going on, I promise Hisoka, I'll get us out of here,_ Tsuzuki told himself.

--

Muraki came home early the next morning. He made the boys sit at the table and eat breakfast with him. It was like some sick parody of a family. Hisoka was paler than usual and he didn't eat much.

"What's wrong with you bouya?" Muraki asked him.

"I... I just don't feel so well," Hisoka told him quietly. He didn't feel like antagonizing the man today. He felt like throwing up and then sleeping for as long as he could.

Muraki stood up and pulled the teen's head up by his chin, staring into the boy's green eyes. The doctor's silver eye searching the boy's eyes and face. He let go of Hisoka and looked at Tsuzuki.

"Go upstairs and get some rest bouya," Muraki told Hisoka. When Tsuzuki rose to help Hisoka, Muraki hissed to him, "You stay here."

Tsuzuki and Hisoka turned to look at each other than at Muraki. The doctor didn't miss the fear in their faces. Hisoka left the room, leaving Tsuzuki with a seething Muraki.

--

Tsuzuki held in his cries as Muraki plunged inside him again. He grit his teeth as the doctor moved in and out of his body. He hated this. Hated to be used. Hated the feel of this man moving inside him, touching him.

But what he hated most, was when Muraki tried to be gentle. Tried to make him respond, to get him to actually enjoy it. What sickened him even more was when his body would betray him and respond to every touch, every whisper and every movement.

"You tried to touch him didn't you?" Muraki asked, thrusting again.

Tsuzuki glared, "And what if I did?"

"I warned you, I would kill you," Muraki told him, kissing him on the neck.

"Then why don't you? Just do it and be done with it!" Tsuzuki snapped.

"You'd like that. But you see, I find that you're still useful to me. So I'll keep you around a bit longer," Muraki answered.

Involuntarily, Tsuzuki cried out in pain when the doctor bit down on his lip. Licking at the blood, Muraki hissed, "Don't touch him again, or I won't stop myself next time."

"What did you do to him? What were those marks?" Tsuzuki demanded. He cringed when he felt the doctor's hand wrap around his member.

"Hmm, wouldn't you like to know the answers. But too bad, I'm not inclined to fill you in," Muraki pushed inside him, hitting something causing Tsuzuki to cry out and climax.

"I hate you!" Tsuzuki panted, as he unwillingly released himself in the man's hand. Muraki climaxed shortly after and Tsuzuki had to force down the bile that rose in his throat.

Muraki pulled out of him and left the bedroom. Tsuzuki laid on the red silk sheets, as tears burned in his amethyst eyes. Dragging himself off the bed, he ran to the bathroom to clean himself.

--

"Tsu, wh..." Soka whispered sleepily as Tsuzuki climbed into bed with him an hour later. His skin stung from the harsh scrubbing he'd given himself in the shower.

"Shhh, it's alright," Tsuzuki whispered back, "I'm ok, just go back to sleep."

Hisoka knew something was wrong. There were so many emotions coming off of the other boy. When the teen tried to touch him, Tsuzuki surprised him by nearly jumping out of bed.

"What...?" Hisoka asked, looking down. He was shocked to see the reddened flesh almost scrubbed raw. The tears in the beautiful eyes. "No, tell me he didn't."

"I... I could tell you that... but it would be a lie," Tsuzuki told him, turning his head away.

"I'm sorry Tsu, I'm sorry. It's all my fault," the empath cried.

"Ne, Soka, you gotta stop that. Better me than you. I can handle it," Tsuzuki said.

"You shouldn't have to handle it!" Hisoka shouted jumping out of bed..

The door to their bedroom opened. Hisoka stepped back as Muraki stood in the doorway.

"You should be asleep bouya," Muraki smirked.

"You should be in hell!" Hisoka sneered.

Muraki smiled and stepped into the room. Grabbing hold of Hisoka, the man pulled the struggling boy close to him.

"Oh, I'd gladly go if you were to join me," Muraki told him seductively.

"L-let go of me!" Hisoka screamed.

To his surprise, Muraki let him go, chuckling as he walked to the doorway.

"If you can't sleep with Tsuzuki, perhaps, you'd like to share my bed?" the doctor told him silkily.

Hisoka glared at the man. There was no way he would willingly sleep in the same bed as Muraki. Even knowing the man wouldn't touch him. Muraki finally left and Hisoka stomped over to the door and slammed it shut.

"I hate him," Hisoka ground out.

Tsuzuki just nodded.


	8. Caught in the Act

Tsuzuki waited until Hisoka fell asleep. He knew Muraki wouldn't be home for awhile. He'd heard the man leave an hour ago and he sighed in relief. He was going to find out what those marks were, even if he had to risk Muraki finding out he'd snooped. Tsuzuki didn't care.

He kept hearing Hisoka's screams when the marks had flared. The pain in his voice had almost torn Tsuzuki in half. He never wanted to hear Hisoka sound that way ever again. Gently disentangling Hisoka from his arms, Tsuzuki got out of bed and left the room, making sure to shut the door as quietly as he could.

Walking barefoot to Muraki's room, Tsuzuki pushed the doctor's clothing out of the way to reveal the door to the hidden room him and Hisoka had found days before. It wasn't locked so that was a plus. Stepping into the room, he was glad to see that the man had kept the desk lamp on.

Sifting through the papers on the desk, Tsuzuki didn't see anything that would tell him about the marks he'd seen on Hisoka. He turned around and scanned the file cabinet then let his amethyst gaze rake over the bookcase. His eyes narrowed as he recognized the book he'd shown to Hisoka the first time they'd been in the room.

He reached out to grab the book when he felt something skitter across his foot, making him jump and turn around. He bumped into the bookcase, holding in a cry as something fell onto his head and hit the floor.

Breathing in as he regained his balance, he leaned over to pick the object up. It was a book of some sort. Sifting through it, Tsuzuki realized it was a diary. Muraki's diary.

"Tsu! What are you doing in here!" Hisoka's soft voice made Tsuzuki yelp.

"Soka, don't do that!" he told him.

"Well, what are you doing in here? What if he comes home?" Hisoka asked.

"He won't be home until morning. He's out prowling again you know. Probably killing some helpless person," Tsuzuki replied, his voice full of disgust.

"What is that?" the empath asked, pointing to the book in Tsuzuki's hand.

"It was on top of the bookcase. It's his diary," Tsuzuki told him.

"Do you think it'll tell us what he's done to me?" Hisoka asked, hopeful.

"I don't know. Let's go back to our room and read it. We can return it when we're done." Hisoka nodded and followed him out. The empath closed the door and Tsuzuki pushed the clothing back in place.

--

"_It seems that the boy has no memory of what happened the night I raped him. I think it's safe to say when he passed out, he didn't feel the rest of what I did to him that night. He has been becoming increasingly defiant as of late. I think this might have something to do with Tsuzuki and the boy's __growing affection for him. I should put a stop to it, but I am waiting to see how it progresses. Plus, if they do anything, the curse will make itself known," _Tsuzuki read aloud.

Hisoka looked at Tsuzuki. Biting his bottom lip, he tried to search his memory of what happened the night he was thirteen. He had some sort of mental block on most of it. Only remembering the actual murder of the woman and the rape itself.

"You don't remember anything Soka?" Tsuzuki prodded.

"No, I only remember the rape and him killing that woman. I remember him coming over to me. I passed out from all the pain though," Hisoka told him.

"Alright, here's something else, _'It seems the curse is working better than I could have hoped for. I have never felt better and even with all the boy's snooping, he has not found out about it or what it does to him'_," Tsuzuki read.

"What's that mean? He's never felt better? You would think he was..." Hisoka was cut off as Tsuzuki's eyes widened.

"Feeding off you somehow," Tsuzuki finished.

Hisoka's mouth dropped open as he tried to digest Tsuzuki's comment. He thought about the night he had encountered Muraki. How he'd looked. He recalled meeting Tsuzuki. Who had been barely an inch taller than he was at the time. Now, Tsuzuki towered over him. And the doctor, he looked exactly the same as he did that night.

"Tsu, he hasn't aged," Hisoka said.

"What?" Tsuzuki asked, confused.

"We've gotten older, taller, but Muraki, he's the same as he was three years ago," the green eyed boy explained.

Tsuzuki narrowed his purple eyes. Hisoka was right. The doctor looked the same as he did when Tsuzuki had met him. He hadn't aged at all.

"Listen, he wrote more about the night he raped you, _'I thought this power I had was a curse, but when I realized that boy possessed empathy, I had to make him mine. I had to find a way to absorb that power for myself. Watching him for weeks to learn his habit of sneaking out of his house, I finally decided to take him. However, I was interupted by some woman taking a walk. I disposed of her rather quickly, but the boy saw me and I had no choice but to take him earlier than I planned'. He was so lovely, his cries were so beautiful, I knew he was meant to be the one'_," Tsuzuki felt like vomiting as he read the entry.

Hisoka was glaring at the diary as though it had grown horns and a tail. He snatched it from Tsuzuki's hands and read the entry again.

"What does he mean 'this power'? I've never seen him use any power," Hisoka muttered.

"I don't know. But he seems to need your empathy..." Tsuzuki was interrupted by a cold voice.

"Snooping I see," Muraki said from the doorway of their room. They hadn't even known he was there until he'd spoken.

Tsuzuki yelped in pain as the doctor walked over to the bed and grabbed him by the arms. Yanking him up, he slapped him hard across the face then flung him away as though he were nothing important. Hisoka scooted backwards on the bed, trying to get away from the pale hands reaching out for him. He cringed as he felt the wall hit his back as the doctor grabbed him.


	9. Incineration

Muraki had Tsuzuki tied up in the corner of the torture room. Hisoka was sitting on the table in the middle of the room. The doctor was pacing back and forth and evil glint in his eye. Hisoka was afraid. He hoped the doctor wouldn't hurt Tsuzuki anymore or him.

"So, I see you found my diary," Muraki said, striding over to the empath. Hisoka cringed as the doctor's hand reached out and touched his neck.

"What have you been doing to me? Why do you need my empathy?" Hisoka asked.

"I guess I could tell you, since you've already found out that I did more than just rape you," Muraki stated, dropping his hand from the boy's neck.

"My grandfather left me a very interesting book," the silver haired man murmured.

"The book we found in the hidden room?" Tsuzuki asked.

"Yes. It was filled with incantations and curses. The book helped me realize what I needed to become immortal using the power that I was born with," Muraki was explaining.

"What power? I've never seen you use any power and what do you need Hisoka for?" Tsuzuki hissed.

"I am able to absorb energy from other people, but it drains my life force. I needed a recharger, so to speak. When I saw him, and realized the bouya's ability of empathy, I knew he was the one I needed," the doctor stared at him.

"How did you find out about my empathy?" Hisoka asked.

"You truly don't remember?" Muraki asked. Hisoka shook his head.

He only remembered meeting the doctor that night under the cherry tree.

"Your father requested my help in 'curing' you a few months before I saw you that night," the doctor told him. Hisoka's eyes widened, he looked over at Tsuzuki, who had stopped squirming, the purple eyes transfixed on Muraki.

"You're lying! I never met you before that night!" Hisoka yelled.

"Why would I lie bouya?" Muraki asked. Hisoka knew the man was telling the truth, but somehow, he wanted to believe it was all a lie.

"He's not lying Soka, for once, he's telling the truth," Tsuzuki said to him.

"So no one can ever touch me because it'll break your curse on me?" the boy asked.

"Oh, you can be touched. You'll just be in so much pain you'll wish you were dead," Muraki snickered.

"How did you put it on me?" Hisoka asked, he wanted to know.

"That was the easy part. After using you, I mixed my seed with your blood and drew the curse on your flesh. It was beautiful coating your pale flesh," Muraki said, almost dreamily. Hisoka felt sick.

Hisoka hung his head. At least now the pieces were coming together.

"Don't look so down bouya. It's not like I'm killing you," Muraki told him.

The teen whipped his head up to glare at the doctor. "You're using my empathy to keep yourself young by recharging your power. What happens if the curse is broken?" he asked.

"You wouldn't replenish the energy I absorb from you which would eventually drain your life force. Still preferable than draining my own," Muraki stated.

"Bastard!" Hisoka shouted.

Muraki's cell phone chose that moment to ring. The man answered it, throwing the two boys a look that told them to be quiet.

"Now? Isn't Johnson on call?" Muraki said in the phone, "Fine, I'll be there in twenty minutes."

Walking to the door, the doctor looked back, "Emergency at the hospital. Go to your room bouya and stay there until I come home. I trust you both to behave. Otherwise, Tsuzuki takes both your punishments." And with that, the doctor left.

--

Hisoka slid off the table and ran over to Tsuzuki. He untied the knots on the ropes. Tsuzuki rubbed his wrists, staring up at the green eyed teen.

"That bastard! I hate him! We need to break his curse somehow," Tsuzuki said angrily.

"You know what we have to do right?" Hisoka said.

Tsuzuki shook his head. "Nope," he said.

"I need you to take me Tsu," the teen told him. Tsuzuki gasped in shock. He didn't think he could do it. He didn't want to hurt Hisoka or hear him screaming in pain again.

"Soka, I don't think I..." he told the boy.

"Please Tsu, it's the only way," Hisoka begged him, grabbing hold of Tsuzuki's hands.

"You'll be in pain Soka, I don't know if I can handle your screams again. It almost tore me apart last time," Tsuzuki told him.

"I'll hold my hands over my mouth if it hurts like last time. If you have to, gag me. I don't care! Just do whatever to take me," Hisoka was desperate and this was the only thing he could think of to get free of Muraki.

"I... don't want to hurt you," Tsuzuki said.

"Please Tsu! I need you to do this for me!" Hisoka pleaded.

He kneeled down and kissed Tsuzuki on the lips. "Please. If you love me, you'll do this for me," he whispered.

Tsuzuki couldn't say no. No matter how much he wanted to, he couldn't refuse Hisoka.

Drawing in a breath, he said, "Alright, let's go to our room though."

--

It wasn't going to be easy, they knew. Already, the curse marks were starting to appear and all Tsuzuki had done was touch Hisoka's entrance with his fingers.

"Soka, are you sure?" Tsuzuki asked for the third time. Hisoka nodded, shifting to get more comfortable.

Tsuzuki was kneeling between his legs, trying to prepare him. Hisoka's body started to tingle slightly with pain as the curse began to glow.

"Tsu, I am sure, stop asking," the teen told him.

"Maybe it would be better if you were on your hands and knees?" Tsuzuki suggested.

"Huh?" Hisoka asked, confused.

"You know, so you can use the pillow to cover your screams," Tsuzuki explained. He really didn't want to do this. He didn't want to hurt the boy he loved, but they had no other choice.

"Oh, um, alright," the empath agreed, rolling over onto his knees. He pressed his forehead on the pillow.

Tsuzuki pressed forward, sliding the tip of his arousal into Hisoka. He felt the muscles clench around him as Hisoka buried his face in the pillow. The curse was now glowing angrily and Hisoka had to muffle his cries. It hurt so badly.

"Hisoka, please, relax," Tsuzuki told him, he knew it was pointless, but if he talked, he could try to pretend he wasn't hurting him.

"Nnnn," Hisoka's muffled voice sounded from the pillow.

Tsuzuki held in a breath as he plunged all the way into Hisoka in one thrust. Hisoka lifted his head and screamed in pain. Tsuzuki almost pulled out but Hisoka pushed himself backwards onto him, impaling himself on Tsuzuki's member.

"Soka, I wanna stop," Tsuzuki was crying.

"No! Don't stop! Please!" Hisoka was crying as well, it hurt so badly but he couldn't stop. He couldn't let Tsuzuki stop. He felt like he was being burned alive as the curse seared itself over his flesh. It felt as though it were etched onto his soul.

"I love you Soka," Tsuzuki whispered as he moved in and out of the empath.

Hisoka would have liked to tell him he loved him back, but he couldn't. All he could do cry and bite into the pillow as his body spiraled downward in flames.

--

Afterwards, Tsuzuki carried a worn out Hisoka to the bathroom to clean him up. He bit his lip as he wiped the boy's tearstreaked face.

"I'm going to run you a bath alright?" he told him. Hisoka nodded.

When the tub was full, Tsuzuki helped the boy as he shakily stepped into the water, gingerly sitting down. Hisoka closed his eyes as Tsuzuki washed him. He was fighting back tears when he noticed the red designs on Hisoka's pale flesh beginning to fade.

"Soka, they're going away," he said. Hisoka opened his emerald eyes to look down at himself. He smiled as he saw the fading marks.

"Thank you Tsu," Hisoka whispered as he leaned up to pull Tsuzuki into a kiss.


	10. The Reality of Truth

Hisoka hadn't believed anything would really happen if the curse were broken. Muraki had a habit of lying. Well, not really lying, but twisting things around so they sounded worse than they actually were. Other than the immense pain the teen had felt when Tsuzuki had taken him two weeks before, nothing else seemed to be happening to him.

Muraki hadn't noticed anything different about the two boys. He still figured the curse was active and was enjoying the fact that both boys seemed to be behaving themselves. He had questioned them, but they'd both the doctor that they realized there was no way to get away from him, so they'd resigned themselves to their fate.

The doctor kept up his normal activities. Going out late at night, coming home early in the mornings, sleeping a few hours, then heading to work. Rinse and repeat. Hisoka and Tsuzuki just stayed in their room or when the doctor made them, they'd eat with him in the dining room.

Sometimes, Hisoka and Tsuzuki would do other things. Intimate things. Tsuzuki was glad that the experience of breaking the curse hadn't made Hisoka shy away from sex. They would just make sure Muraki wouldn't be home to catch them fooling around.

Hisoka thought making love with Tsuzuki was the closest he could come to being happy while with another person. He cried the first time they'd done it after they'd broken the curse. Not because it hurt, but because it had felt so good and right. Tsuzuki had been very gentle and Hisoka found himself wanting nothing more than to be that close to the other boy forever. But it seemed, everytime, the empath would become so exhausted, he would sleep the remainder of the day or night and he started thinking, something might be wrong.

_Maybe Muraki was telling the truth,_ Hisoka thought.

It was while they were making love one rainy afternoon that Hisoka's fear that Muraki had indeed been telling the truth when he started to cough and couldn't stop. Tsuzuki had pulled off of him to pat him on the back when he'd noticed Hisoka was coughing up blood. The empath's eyes went wide as he realized the hand he was covering his mouth with was coated crimson. Tsuzuki ran to get the boy a towel to wipe up the blood.

"Thank you," Hisoka said. He didn't know what else to say. He had never had anything like this happen to him before, but he was scared.

Tsuzuki quickly washed the towel after Hisoka passed it back, having finished coughing. They couldn't let Muraki find out about it or the doctor would find out about the curse being broken. The next few weeks, Hisoka didn't cough up anymore blood, but he seemed to be growing weaker. The last day or so, the boy would slept a lot and didn't seem to have any appetite.

"Hisoka, Muraki's going to be home soon. You need to wake up," Tsuzuki whispered gently in the boy's ear.

"Nnn, sleepy," Hisoka mumbled.

"If you don't get up, he'll wonder why you're sleeping in the middle of the day," the boy said.

"Alright," the empath said, sitting up and yawning.

--

Muraki made them eat with him again. Something they really hated doing. Neither boy wanted to be in the same room with the doctor. But they knew better than to refuse. The doctor hadn't hurt them since he'd told them about the curse.

"What's wrong with you bouya?" the doctor's voice suddenly sounded.

Hisoka looked up.

"Nothing," the teen said.

"You're not eating," Muraki stated.

"Maybe I'm not hungry?" Hisoka snapped. Tsuzuki groaned causing Muraki to look at him.

"Something you want to say Tsuzuki?" the doctor asked, putting down his fork.

"Uh, no, nothing," Tsuzuki replied.

Muraki just kept staring from one boy to the other.

"May I be excused please?" Hisoka asked. Muraki narrowed his eye but nodded. Hisoka quickly got up and nearly ran from the room.

Once upstairs, he ran for the bathroom, emptying his stomach just in time. Heaving, he fell to the tiled floor and rested his head against the wall. The door opened and Tsuzuki walked in.

"Soka, are you alright?" the boy asked.

"I'm fine Tsu," Hisoka told him, "Just a little queasy."

"Muraki sent me to get you," Tsuzuki told him. Hisoka looked up at him, green eyes narrowing.

"What does he want?" Hisoka whispered, his voice sounded fearful.

Tsuzuki shrugged, "I don't know. He wouldn't tell me. He's in the living room."

Hisoka sighed and got to his feet, dizzy, he was grateful for the hand Tsuzuki reached out to help steady him.

--

When Hisoka walked into the living room, Muraki was sitting on the sofa, one leg resting on the other, his pale hands folded in his lap. When the doctor saw him enter, he smiled at the teen and Hisoka had to fight the urge to run. He hated when Muraki smiled. It made his skin crawl.

"Have a seat bouya," the doctor said, patting the cushion next to him. Hisoka walked stiffly across the room and sat in a chair on the other side of the coffee table. Muraki chuckled.

"You never change do you," Muraki said.

"What do you want?" Hisoka asked.

"I want to know what's wrong with you. You don't seem as pleasant to be around lately," Muraki told him.

"Right, as if you find my presence pleasant," the boy sneered.

"Oh but I do. You're my beautiful doll. I love having you around," the doctor said, standing up and walking over to him.

"I'm not your doll!" Hisoka snapped.

Muraki leaned down and ran a hand over Hisoka's hair, whispered into his hair, "I want to know why you won't eat and why you've been sleeping a lot."

Hisoka leaned back. He didn't know how the man knew what he'd been up to. But he wasn't about to ask. He just stared expressionless at the man standing before him. He felt something wet lick his ear and he jumped up, only to have Muraki grab him roughly by the arms and push him back into the chair.

"Sit down," Muraki snapped.

"What do you want?" Hisoka asked.

Muraki just searched his face, running his hands over the boy's chest and down to his lap. Hisoka squirmed in the chair as the doctor's hands landed in his lap, pressing against his private area.

"Don't!" the boy nearly screamed. He felt like throwing up again. Muraki glared at him, his silver eye boring into the boy's emerald's.

"I'll find out what you've been up to sooner or later bouya. It would be in your best interest to come right out with it now. Tsuzuki's best interest as well," the doctor said menacingly.

"You're just paranoid, you psychotic fre..." Hisoka's head reeled back as Muraki slapped him. A red handprint blazing itself across his cheek. Hisoka lifted a hand to the stinging mark, tears in his eyes.

"You should learn some respect. Nevermind though, I'll find out what you're up to. Get to bed before I do more than slap you," Muraki told him.

Hisoka didn't need to be told twice. He got up and ran out of the room and up the stairs. Throwing open the door to his and Tsuzuki's bedroom, he flung himself on their bed and cried into his pillow. Tsuzuki came into the room a few minutes later.

"Soka, what's wrong? Did Muraki do anything?" Tsuzuki asked, pulling the boy into his arms. Hisoka shook his head.

"I don't want to be here anymore Tsu! When are we going to try to leave again?" Hisoka cried.

"I don't know. He hasn't relized that we've broken his hold on you. So we have to try before he does," Tsuzuki said, as the bedroom door opened and Muraki stood standing in the doorway, holding something metal in his hand.

"Well, my little boys have been very naughty," the doctor said coldly, pointing the gun at Tsuzuki's chest.


	11. Ascendancy

One would think having a gun pointed at you would scare a person, but not for Tsuzuki. He thought that if Muraki were going to kill him, he'd better get it over with. Though, Hisoka seemed more upset than Tsuzuki was. He jumped up to stand in front of the other boy, glaring at the doctor.

"What are you doing? Are you crazy!" Hisoka yelled.

Muraki strode into the room, "Did you think the two of you could do something and I wouldn't find out about it?" the doctor asked.

"I knew you'd find out, but I don't care anymore. Anything is better than living here with you!" Tsuzuki shouted, pushing Hisoka behind him.

"How long has it been?" the doctor asked, but both boys refused to answer. "Nevermind. I'll just have fun placing the curse back on you bouya. And you Tsuzuki, I'll let you watch."

"Don't you touch him!" Tsuzuki yelled, but Muraki just raised the hand holding the gun and hit Tsuzuki on the head, making the boy fall to the ground, knocked out.

Hisoka screamed and kneeled down to try to check Tsuzuki but Muraki grabbed him by the arm, hauling him up. He dragged Hisoka out of the room. Leaving Tsuzuki passed out on the bedroom floor.

--

Hisoka knew what Muraki was intending to do. He'd dragged him to the basement room and ordered him to get up on the table after making him undress. The teen was scared, but he was more worried about Tsuzuki upstairs.

"Don't worry bouya. I'll be gentle with you," Muraki told him, kissing him. Hisoka turned his head away.

"Why do you have to do this?" he asked.

"Because I like to play with what belongs to me," the doctor sneered.

"I don't belong to you!" Hisoka looked back at the man, only to have the doctor kiss him again.

When Muraki pulled back from the kiss, he whispered how he was going to have fun with Hisoka a few times before replacing the curse on him. Hisoka held back tears as he thought about how he would soon have the man inside him again. He shivered in disgust.

--

Tsuzuki groaned as he sat up on the floor.

_Damn Muraki!_ He thought.

He quickly got up, slightly dizzy from the aching bump on his head from where the gun had made contact. Once the dizziness wore off, he ran out of the room. He knew where to go to find the doctor and Hisoka.

--

"I hate you!" Hisoka screamed as Muraki kissed up and down his body. The doctor just laughed and continued taking his time enjoying being able to touch Hisoka like this again.

"Maybe I won't put the curse back on. It might be nice to just take you everynight," Muraki whispered.

"Go to hell!" the empath yelled.

"Only if you join me," Muraki told him seductively and continued his path down the teen's body.

Hisoka cringed inside and clenched his fists, nails digging into the soft flesh of his palm, drawing blood. Muraki raised his head and looked at one of the boy's hands. Lifting the hand up, he licked away at the blood, smirking as his silver eye locked onto Hisoka's green.

--

Tsuzuki peeked into the room, anger rising up inside him when he saw the doctor hovering over a naked Hisoka. He was furious that the doctor was touching the boy again. He silently entered the room, hoping Muraki didn't turn around. Hisoka turned his head and saw him. Tsuzuki raised a finger to his lips to motion for the other boy to keep quiet.

Hisoka blinked and arched up as Muraki licked around his belly button, making the doctor moan when the boy slipped his hands into the doctor's platinum hair.

"Beginning to enjoy yourself bouya?" Muraki chuckled.

"Nnn," Hisoka moaned, feeling sick. He needed to keep the man's attention on him so Tsuzuki could do whatever he was planning.

Tsuzuki lunged at Muraki, catching him off guard. Tsuzuki was laying on top of the man, punching him as Hisoka sat up and yanked on his shirt.

Muraki was reaching into his pocket when Tsuzuki began pulling on his hair and banging it into the basement floor. Pulling the gun out of his pocket, Muraki pulled it up ready to shoot Tsuzuki, but Hisoka kicked him in the arm, startling him and the gun fell out of the doctor's hand.

Leaning down to pick it up, Hisoka levelled it at the man who had cruelly raped and tortured them for years.

"Tsu, get up," Hisoka said. He was strangely calm. Muraki was staring at him.

"Soka, give that to me," Tsuzuki said. Hisoka shook his head.

"You going to shoot me bouya or stand there staring?" the doctor smirked.

Hisoka started to cry. Tsuzuki started to walk over to him, but he raised the gun, causing him to stop. Muraki sat up, his gaze on the empath.

"You tried to take everything from us. To break us. I have never hated anyone more than I hate you," Hisoka told him. He was choking on his tears. He wiped his eyes quickly, but the action gave Muraki the opening he'd been waiting for.

The doctor lunged up, throwing his weight against the boy. Hisoka was knocked the floor, the gun slipping from his hand and sliding across the floor. Muraki slapped Hisoka across the face, while the boy struggled to get loose, kicking at the doctor's legs and clawing at his face.

"Get off him Muraki," Tsuzuk said.

Muraki looked over his shoulder at him. Hisoka's green eyes went wide when he saw that Tsuzuki was now holding the gun. Steadily aiming it at Muraki's back. The doctor rolled off Hisoka, rising into a standing position. Hisoka scooted away and stood.

"I won't ever let you hurt him again. I won't ever let you touch him again," Tsuzuki told the man.

"And what do you think a little boy like you can do to stop me?" Muraki sneered.

"I can send you to hell where you belong," Tsuzuki snapped.

After that things happened so fast as Muraki made a movement to rush Tsuzuki and Hisoka screamed as the gun went off. Muraki dropped to the floor, a hole in his chest, dripping blood.

"I see you have... the last..." Muraki stopped as his body shuddered and he went still.

"Tsu!" Hisoka rushed to Tsuzuki, who lowered his arm and dropped the gun. Tears falling from his eyes.

"Are you alright Soka? Did he hurt you?" he asked.

"No, are you alright?" Hisoka asked.

"I'm fine. Let's get out of here," Tsuzuki said, pulling Hisoka out of the room.

--

**Six Months later**

They'd moved miles away from Muraki's house, which was now being bulldozed to make room for a new mall along with several other houses. They were shocked to find out they wouldn't be in trouble for Tsuzuki killing Muraki. Even more shocked to find out that Muraki's will named Hisoka as his heir.

With the money they'd bought their own little house with a garden for Tsuzuki to take care of. Hisoka learned how to cook, as soon as he ate some eggs Tsuzuki had made him one morning. After eating them, he'd found himself in the bathroom throwing up.

Hisoka would cry sometimes at night, but Tsuzuki would take him into his arms and hold him until the nightmare went away. They would spend their days in the garden, Hisoka with a book watching Tsuzuki plant flowers and chatting idly about things they'd like to do together.

Their nights were spent in each other's arms. When Tsuzuki would cry, Hisoka was always there to hold him. With the past behind them, there was only the two of them. Though the time they'd spent living with Muraki would always be in their memories, they promised each other they would make happier memories together. They would whisper how much they loved each other as they talked about their future loving one another.

In bed one night, Hisoka whispered "I love you Tsu," as they made love. Smiling when he heard Tsuzuki whisper the words back to him before capturing his lips in a kiss.

They were happy. Finally.


End file.
